Being a mom is hard work.
Being a mom after one of your children has died is indescribable.
I thought the days that directly followed the passing of my eight month old son were difficult. But soon those days drifted into weeks. Those weeks quickly drifted into months. Here I am, over a year later, and it still feels like David’s passing was just yesterday.
I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. There are days that I yell at my kids over silly things they have done. There are days when I feel alone, even when the house is full of people.
Well-meaning people around me thought I should be over it. That I should be beyond the grief that holds me hostage.
In part, I agreed.
Not that I would ever be over it, no one can ever “get over” the death of a child. But the grief that holds me Read more…
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Chugga Chugga Choo Choo….Rosie you go over the bridge and drop off the ice cream. Thomas you help Salty move the coal cars. Chugga Chugga Choo Choo. We’ll all meet at Brendon Docks and have a party. Chugga Chugga Choo Choo.
Zachary spends hours each day playing with his trains. On his belly pushing them. Making up stories for them. He doesn’t watch too many Thomas videos anymore, he knows most of them by heart and re-enacts them every day. Read more…
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Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling pain with the mistaken belief that you can’t bear the pain. But, you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyondthe pain. (St. Bartholomew)
This is the essence of renewal: discovering all that you are (or can become) after the pain crystallizes in your mind. Decisions on how you want to live your life going forward. What is truly important?
Going forward. How does one move forward when faced with tragedy? It’s a difficult road to navigate, to be sure. I have borne the pain of losing not one, but two of my sons. I am struggling with what’s beyond the pain.
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Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
I was born in Chicago, grew up in the suburbs. In 2004, my husband and I moved to Ohio. We live about an hour east of Cincinnati in a small town. Well, it’s small after growing up under the influence of Chicago! We bought a 150 year old house and are ever-so-slowly restoring it.
What language(s) do you speak?
I minored in French in college, but only speak English.
When did you first become a mother?
My daughter was born in August, 1990. I was 19 years old. I’ve had 7 children between my 2 marriages. Two have passed away. Read more…
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November was National Adoption Month. I wrote an article exclusively for World Moms Blog about my own experience with being adopted. It brought back so many memories that I had to keep writing! This is a continuation of that article. Please visit Adoption~Journey Past Life to start at the beginning.
“I am an old woman, named after my mother…….”
….. and my grandmother. And without my grandmother to act as a ‘buffer’ between my mother and I, my childhood would have been a lot worse. Of course, I don’t want you to think that my entire childhood was awful, there were good times. Times when my mother took her medication and times when my grandmother was watching over me.
Growing up, I knew my mother had a regular pharmacy in her vanity. Bottles and bottles and bottles of pills. I just never knew what they were until after my mother divorced my father, which was about 4 years ago. My father finally admitted to me that my mother had some mental health issues and had been addicted to pain meds. Read more…
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This is the story of a girl who adopted the world……
Okay, well maybe not the whole world. One baby adopted locally, and just recently traveling all the way to Uganda to adopt another, is pretty close. This picture says it all. The joy is tangible and brings tears to my eyes.
Deb and I went to high school together. I have had the privilege to partake in the adoption process, albeit vicariously, through Deb’s personal blog. It’s been an amazing journey for her and her family. And, in honor of National Adoption Month, I wanted to bear witness to this extraordinary love story. While the main focus of this Adoption Awareness Campaign is to encourage adoptions of kids in foster care, I think it should be a time to reflect on all types of adoption.
I’m sure you’re asking yourself why I would be interested in adoption given the quiver full of kids I already have. The answer is simple ~ I was adopted. As an adult adoptee, I am interested in the process. I am interested in the outcome. I am interested in the mindset of someone who searches out a child to make them their own. I am interested because my story is not like Deb’s story of love and adoration. Read more…
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Being a mom is hard work.
