“Good looking”
“Attractive appearance”
“Maximum 28 years old”
“Minimum height 160cm”
These are just some of the lines in job ads that always make me sick to my stomach in my journey to find a new job in this city.
To be brutally honest, I might be experiencing a tiny bit of regret for quitting my old job. Maybe I should’ve put up with being underpaid and overworked, with no chance to become a permanent employee, rather than plunging myself in to the job hunting pool again.
Now I understand why some of my old friends stick with their underpaid jobs, some even only make minimum wage, because it’s a highly competitive world out here.
The last job I received was as a Personal Assistant, which lasted for 3 days. The boss said some pretty hurtful things and didn’t show any tolerance for me missing a day of work because I had to care for my mother who was in ICU at the time. So what’s an emotional, Pisces single mom to do? I quit and told the guy that I could never work with someone who doesn’t have a heart! Maybe I should’ve just dealt with the curses, the yelling and kept my job. Read more…
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Lately in my country of Indonesia there have been two ‘incidents’ where women were being pretty much criticized for the way they dressed.
Last year, much to everyone’s shock, our very own governor of Jakarta said women should not wear mini skirts to avoid being raped after a woman was raped in minivan in public. This outrageous comment led hundreds of women to take to the central streets of Jakarta – yes, wearing their miniskirts — and they demonstrated against censorship of their clothing. I highly saluted these women for standing up for what’s right.
I love my miniskirts, and when I pair them with my wedges they accentuate my legs. Of course, I don’t go with the super miniskirts, ahem, but I do wear them once in awhile. Why do I wear them? Because it makes me feel good about myself, it shows off my legs, and I do love my legs. But do I wear it to attract the opposite sex? Never even crosses my mind, to be honest.
Then just a day ago I saw yet another article of a police officer reprimanding a young teenage girl because she was wearing shorts – the reason? To avoid “pornography.” Read more…
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These past few months have been really stressful in this household. Yes, I live with my parents and my two younger brothers. It’s considered common, here, in Indonesia, for children to remain living with their parents until they get married – or in my case, until they get divorced and move back home.
Late October my father fell ill due to twenty-something years of dealing with Type 2 Diabetes. He got so sick from gangrene on his left foot that he had to fly back to Jakarta because he didn’t want to have his surgery in Zambia alone. It was by a pure miracle he made it back to Jakarta after such a long flight.
We took him to the hospital immediately, and the doctor said surgery was the only way out. Read more…
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The November 19th Saturday Sidebar question was so interesting I couldn’t help but take a deeper look into the whole gender issue, especially from an Indonesian mother’s point of view.
(Disclaimer: it is not easy to characterize the existing patriarchy in Indonesia, as there are more than 200 ethnic groups organized along patrilineal and matrilineal lines. Also, I have no experience raising a girl here in Indonesia–-in fact, I had no experience in child rearing before my son was born. And finally, before I became a mother myself, I never paid much attention to how people raise children here.)
About two years ago, when my son was a toddler, who dearly loved stuffed animals, I took him to a store here in Jakarta. He immediately grabbed a stuffed pig off a bottom shelf and started loving it. The store attendant quickly made a comment that caused my defensive mama-bear mode to jump into action: Read more…
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Growing up in Indonesia, I don’t really remember hugs, cuddles and the like. Yes, of course, there was the dutiful kiss on the cheek once in a while that felt more like a custom. It is not in our culture to say “I love you.”
In their own way, I know my parents love me and my brothers. We, the children, tended to show our love with actions, such as paying respect to our parents, never arguing or talking back and being, pretty much, good kids.
Our upbringing was laden with disciplines ala Dutch style. My parents were stern and
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I’ve been lucky enough to look at motherhood from different cultural aspects. From the American side, the Indonesian side and to a glimpse of the Chinese side.
When I was still in the States, I lived a life like most American stay-at-home moms do. I cooked; I cleaned; and, I took care of my son, the ex husband and my stepsons to the best of my ability with the help of my ex husband, of course.
Then I came home for the first time to Indonesia when my son was 9 months old. We flew over 23 hours to introduce him to my parents and my family, just him and me. Read more…
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“Good looking”
